preggers!

Last night I dreamed that by rubbing bellies with a mildly autistic attorney from my former employer, she transferred her child to me, and I was suddenly seven months pregnant. I did not remember being shot full of hormones or anything to make this possible, but reasoned that since I am a sensitive, nurturing type of guy my body could handle it. And after all, male preganancy isn't all in the mind -- it's been done before. I should probably see a doctor since I'd never been pregnant before, and after all, the baby's time was drawing near. Umm, yah. My dad walked with me part of the way to the hospital, and I told him I was a little worried about the whole thing, since I didn't think the mother and I would be able to negotiate very well about the many important decisions we'd have to make as parents. I guess I should have thought about that before I rubbed bellies with the girl. Oh, and of course since I don't have a womb the baby would have to be born by caesarian section. Kind of a coincidence, because I was born by caesarian. Anyhow I wondered if I would still be an attractive guy with a big scar running up my belly. The sensation of being pregnant was remarkably mild. It was more like the feeling you get when you've overeaten. I couldn't feel anything kicking around inside me, no magical sense of life that gives pregnant women that inner glow.